Resilience equals Success

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal, and it’s the courage to continue that counts.”-Winston Churchill

For many of us, assembling the bravery, grit and resilience to go on in the face of failure is not easy.

Being an immigrant nation, we all have relatives or ancestors that have braved war, hardships and famine, and here we are in 2017 cringing, complaining and crying about lesser tragedies and failures. Intellectually, it is easy to recognize on the macrocosm of human suffering, greater tragedies have been endured. But in the moment, it still feels hopeless if we're passed over for a job, you lost your job, your spouse left you, or perhaps you are just having a bad day. Imaginably someone shouted at you, your co-worker took credit for something you did or it could simply be that someone took your yogurt from the break room fridge.

Whether big or small, these challenging situations require resilience. You can use Churchill’s quote as your screensaver or find solace in Facebook groups that share in your misery, but it you really want to improve your resilience, and you need to train your brain. You see resilience is a muscle, and like any muscle, you have to train it if you want it to get stronger.

Here are a few ideas on how to train your mind to be more receptive to abundance and less prone to wallowing in misery.

Preemptive mindfulness

Keep a journal. I cannot seem to read a book, listen to a podcast or scroll through any type of social media without jotting down a great passage, or immediately writing down something that sparked my interest, or made me rethink something in a positive way. Psychologists have researched and determined that daily reminders or mindfulness, gratitude, and other meditative practices increase your resiliency. Even 10 minutes a day listing what you are grateful for will improve your brain’s ability to deal with stress and failure before it happens. Rather than read in bed until you fall asleep, jot down in a notebook or journal what you are grateful for, what you accomplished for the day and make a list of things to accomplish tomorrow so that you can mentally relax and sleep well throughout the night.

Journaling isn’t your thing…it wasn’t mine for the longest time until I discovered that my short term memory failed me every time I wanted to revisit a great thought or idea that I saw or heard during the day. There are some simple meditative practices that you can employ to simply gain some balance in your attempt to become more resilient. Sleeping for 8 hours, making sure that you get out in the sun every day, and limiting the use of your phone when you are with others, or eating. These small things add up to a more mindful person, and mindful people can handle stress.

Breathe

When dealing with stress, you tend to gasp or hold your breath. There’s a scientific and physiological reason you always hear the words, “take a deep breath.” Breathing gives your brain oxygen. This helps your mind remember things, make measured responses, and be strategic. In a stressful situation, your temptation is to hold your breath so try to do the opposite. Take five deep breaths before you even try to think. You can train yourself to use this as your default response to challenges. The few seconds it takes will not matter to the problem, but it will matter very much to your brain and the effects of how you react to a stressful situation.

Find a happy place

Before I go to a classroom to lecture, or step into a business meeting, I send my wife or one of my children a simple, positive text message. “Hope you are having a great day!” “Can’t wait to see you all in a little while.’ Hope your day is filled with fist bumps from the boys and pretty smiles from the girls.” “Love you!” Simple messages allow me to respect my goals and visualize my accomplishments. So before you walk into your meeting, your business, or whatever challenge you are about to face, reorganize your brain by focusing on something positive. By sending a quick text, it helps to reset my thoughts in a positive direction and then my resilience muscle and abundance mindset kicks in to remind my brain, that regardless of the situation, things are good and everything works out. On a side note, when I send out that message I usually get a second round of dopamine when they sends back a simple “thank you” or “ditto”. Even if it’s a couple of emojis, their acknowledgement empowers me.

Do the math and play percentages

Beginning and attempting to accept a challenge can be intimidating and unnerving. Sometimes you feel as if your brain is shutting down simply because it may be difficult to see the results or positive outcome initially. Instead of trying to see the bigger picture, focus on a simple task, a microcosm of the entire situation, or a marginal gain that you can attain. Start by asking yourself, “How can I improve this immediate situation by 10%?” If you are dealing with a difficult client, improving the relationship by 10% may take one simple phone call or email. Did your boss drop off a stack of work on your desk on Tuesday afternoon and tell you he wants a report by Friday morning? Create a timeline in 10% intervals to address how you will accomplish this task. 50% or 25% can be too much to sink your teeth into, so break it down even further and relish each moment when something is completed. If you do this a few times, you will be surprised how easy it is to make a quick dent in your work and the perceived setback will be less of a burden on your mind.

Beginning to develop your own resilience muscle and developing a positive and abundant mindset will make you much happier and make your work, and time spent doing it, much more effective. These few easy practices will help you tackle the toughest of tasks and challenges with perseverance and passion.